Sorry the pictures are kinda grainy. I had to crop them to get in closer on 2 of them. She made out like a bandit with a Gameboy w/3 games, a dance game for the Wii, a little purse, some clothes and a stuffed pink kitty :).
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
So, What Have We Been Doing for the Last MONTH???
We're here and have our feet under us again (so to speak). We've overcome the jet lag and are starting to get back to normal (whatever that is).
Tim and I are both back to work (I'm on a reduced work schedule so I can be there for our new son as much as possible). We have visited with both sides of the family's grandparents and a few aunts and uncles. We had our 1st post-adoption visit with our social worker. We visited our local amusement park (Worlds of Fun). We got everyone's hair cut. We signed SongSong up to play soccer with Seth at Seth's school (private school that allows home school kids to play on their sports teams) - there's a game or a practice 4 days per week. We started home school with Grandma for SongSong, private school for everyone else (2 separate private schools). After 2 days we decided that home school wasn't the best fit for our new son - so we enrolled him in Oscar & Diana's school until he learns English. Started all our therapies back up again (we took a short break from therapies over the summer due to the adoption). We have visited friends. And we have gone to church every week. I know I'm forgetting a lot of stuff, but I'm sure you get the idea - WE'VE BEEN BUSY.
SongSong, our new addition, is very introverted. I'm not sure he's shy though (don't worry, I'll explain - read on). He has very definite opinions and voices them (albeit when via Google Translate it's sometimes difficult to "get" exactly where he is going with some things). Recently, we've had to teach him about personal posessions, and why you can't do what you want with other people's stuff (ESPECIALLY computers and electronics). We've spent a fair amount of time undoing some things he's done to Oscar and Grandma's computers without their permission. It's all about boundaries and teaching him where his end and another's begin. Consequences ensue when that line is crossed!
He doesn't like the food here in America either (unless we are eating at a Chinese buffet, but we can't afford to do that every meal, so he's just going to have to learn to deal on that one). Even my efforts at Chinese cuisine have been pretty thoroughly rejected. In answer to this, and as an "attachment parenting" technique, I have made it his job to help me cook dinner every night :). That way, if he doesn't like it... well, he helped make it so... there you have it. Much less vocal complaining about the food going on from him these days.
His other job is feeding the dogs. He doesn't like the dogs. He was afraid of Hanai when we first came home. If you know our dog Hanai, you know how, well, almost funny this is. She is so submissive that she rolls over on her back (and often pees) when meeting someone new (yeah, I know, she makes a great first impression). I know he isn't used to pets, so I understand why he reacts the way he does (actually Claudia was afraid of them too when we first brought our other kids home.) Anyway, he tolerates both dogs now, but still doesn't care much for them. They still like him though :).
SongSong REALLY likes his electronics, and in a pinch, his books. Unfortunately it's usually to the exclusion of human interaction (unless it's someone he already knows from China... or someone who is under the age of 9...). Those qualifiers (also unfortunately) exclude everyone in our household - and most of the population of the United States for that matter. Needless to say, getting him to engage our family has been a challenge. Hence the helping me with dinner chore, the private school instead of home school, the soccer, the manditory 1 hour of English TV daily for "homework" and the everything-else-I-can-think-of-to-get-him-out-of-that-bedroom-and-socializing-with-the-family activity there is. It's like pulling teeth, but I won't give up.
New people and new things put our new son out of his comfort zone pretty much immediately. Whenever he is very uncomfortable he will (while standing) put his hands on his knees and look at the floor. We saw that the first day we met him in China, we see it anytime he's even remotely the focus of a group of people (like when he had to get his physical with all the other kids before soccer), when a group of young people (mostly girls) came up and talked to us in Tianfu Square in Chengdu in order to practice their English, when our family was at the airport to meet him when we came home, I could go on and on. You get the picture. Speaking of pictures, here's one below of him and Seth at the airport the day we came home (notice he's upright while talking to his friend, but obviously uncomfortable with all the attention he is receiving).
I think SongSong definitely has the ability to bond, but I think his sense of trust has just been severely damaged with all he's been through in life. I believe he's testing us to see if we are going to kick him to the curb like his bio-family, then his first foster family, and then the orphanage did (because I'm relatively certain that's how he sees things - even if he doesn't consciously realize it). I also believe that's why he holds on so tightly to his old ways and all things familiar. Oscar did this too (to a much lesser extent) when we brought him home. I just have to remind myself not to take the behaviors personally. Intellectually I know he is only protecting himself from being hurt again, but when he's doing whatever 'it' is that is getting my goat at the time, it's often hard to remind myself of that fact!
Check back. Our family's story only continues to add chapters.
This post is linked to Death by Great Wall adoption blog.
Tim and I are both back to work (I'm on a reduced work schedule so I can be there for our new son as much as possible). We have visited with both sides of the family's grandparents and a few aunts and uncles. We had our 1st post-adoption visit with our social worker. We visited our local amusement park (Worlds of Fun). We got everyone's hair cut. We signed SongSong up to play soccer with Seth at Seth's school (private school that allows home school kids to play on their sports teams) - there's a game or a practice 4 days per week. We started home school with Grandma for SongSong, private school for everyone else (2 separate private schools). After 2 days we decided that home school wasn't the best fit for our new son - so we enrolled him in Oscar & Diana's school until he learns English. Started all our therapies back up again (we took a short break from therapies over the summer due to the adoption). We have visited friends. And we have gone to church every week. I know I'm forgetting a lot of stuff, but I'm sure you get the idea - WE'VE BEEN BUSY.
SongSong, our new addition, is very introverted. I'm not sure he's shy though (don't worry, I'll explain - read on). He has very definite opinions and voices them (albeit when via Google Translate it's sometimes difficult to "get" exactly where he is going with some things). Recently, we've had to teach him about personal posessions, and why you can't do what you want with other people's stuff (ESPECIALLY computers and electronics). We've spent a fair amount of time undoing some things he's done to Oscar and Grandma's computers without their permission. It's all about boundaries and teaching him where his end and another's begin. Consequences ensue when that line is crossed!
He doesn't like the food here in America either (unless we are eating at a Chinese buffet, but we can't afford to do that every meal, so he's just going to have to learn to deal on that one). Even my efforts at Chinese cuisine have been pretty thoroughly rejected. In answer to this, and as an "attachment parenting" technique, I have made it his job to help me cook dinner every night :). That way, if he doesn't like it... well, he helped make it so... there you have it. Much less vocal complaining about the food going on from him these days.
His other job is feeding the dogs. He doesn't like the dogs. He was afraid of Hanai when we first came home. If you know our dog Hanai, you know how, well, almost funny this is. She is so submissive that she rolls over on her back (and often pees) when meeting someone new (yeah, I know, she makes a great first impression). I know he isn't used to pets, so I understand why he reacts the way he does (actually Claudia was afraid of them too when we first brought our other kids home.) Anyway, he tolerates both dogs now, but still doesn't care much for them. They still like him though :).
But I hafta ask, is this scary to you???
SongSong REALLY likes his electronics, and in a pinch, his books. Unfortunately it's usually to the exclusion of human interaction (unless it's someone he already knows from China... or someone who is under the age of 9...). Those qualifiers (also unfortunately) exclude everyone in our household - and most of the population of the United States for that matter. Needless to say, getting him to engage our family has been a challenge. Hence the helping me with dinner chore, the private school instead of home school, the soccer, the manditory 1 hour of English TV daily for "homework" and the everything-else-I-can-think-of-to-get-him-out-of-that-bedroom-and-socializing-with-the-family activity there is. It's like pulling teeth, but I won't give up.
New people and new things put our new son out of his comfort zone pretty much immediately. Whenever he is very uncomfortable he will (while standing) put his hands on his knees and look at the floor. We saw that the first day we met him in China, we see it anytime he's even remotely the focus of a group of people (like when he had to get his physical with all the other kids before soccer), when a group of young people (mostly girls) came up and talked to us in Tianfu Square in Chengdu in order to practice their English, when our family was at the airport to meet him when we came home, I could go on and on. You get the picture. Speaking of pictures, here's one below of him and Seth at the airport the day we came home (notice he's upright while talking to his friend, but obviously uncomfortable with all the attention he is receiving).
I think SongSong definitely has the ability to bond, but I think his sense of trust has just been severely damaged with all he's been through in life. I believe he's testing us to see if we are going to kick him to the curb like his bio-family, then his first foster family, and then the orphanage did (because I'm relatively certain that's how he sees things - even if he doesn't consciously realize it). I also believe that's why he holds on so tightly to his old ways and all things familiar. Oscar did this too (to a much lesser extent) when we brought him home. I just have to remind myself not to take the behaviors personally. Intellectually I know he is only protecting himself from being hurt again, but when he's doing whatever 'it' is that is getting my goat at the time, it's often hard to remind myself of that fact!
Check back. Our family's story only continues to add chapters.
This post is linked to Death by Great Wall adoption blog.
August 28, 2012 - Oscar's 15th Birthday
I know, I know, I'm late, AGAIN. But better late than never, right?
15 candles
Memory cards for his seriously underpowered computer
And a multi-tool. What will won't he be able to dismantle with this?
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Whirlwind Tour of Beijing
For our last full day in China, it was a very full day :). We started by going to Tiananmen Square. I know I'm dating myself, but I vividly remember the protests that happened there when I was about 18 years old. It was an interesting experience to stand there all these years later with the place filled with tourists taking pictures.
Literally right across the street from Tiananmen Square is the Forbidden City. This is where the Chinese emperor and other royalty lived. Common folks were not allowed in - hence the name. The city was built in the 1400s and according to our guide it took 14 years to finish constructing it.
After that, we went to lunch at a restaurant located in jade factory (um, yeah it sure was). Honestly, it was probably the most bland meal we've had since we've been in China (and that includes the food on the airplanes - which incidently isn't bad on the Chinese airlines we've flown). We also had a short educational tour about how to tell the difference between real jade and fake jade and also the differences in jade quality. Very interesting (to me anyway).
After the jade factory, we went to the Great Wall. Where we accessed the wall, you could go left - which was relatively flat, or right - which was an almost a vertical climb (imagine a slightly inclined ladder). Holy cow some of those stairs are steep - definitely doesn't meet current building code for risers (or treads) either - sorry, I've worked in engineering my whole professional career, these things occur to me. Guess which way our group decided to go...
At 4:30 PM we left the Great Wall and drove by the 2008 Beijing Olympic Village. We saw the 'bird nest' and the 'water cube'. Very cool architecture.
We're getting ready to head out for dinner tonight and we leave for the airport tomorrow at 1:00 PM. We'll see you at home :).
Friday, August 3, 2012
Pictures
I had meant to post these pictures with the last post, but I couldn't get them to upload so here they are in a separate post. They are all from our trip to Shamian. One just to give you an idea of the look of the place, another of the boys goofing off for the camera and one of our new son who obviously has a soft spot for the babies just like his older brother :).
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Heading to Beijing (again)
We had our consulate appointment yesterday at 8:30 AM. It's really no big deal - take an oath on behalf of your adopted child, give the person at the little window some stuff for the file and get your older child fingerprinted (electronically). Badda-bing done. Our guide picked up SongSong's visa today and we fly out of Guangzhou to Beijing for some sight-seeing at 10:30 AM tomorrow. I really like the city of Guangzhou, but I'm ready to leave. It's been nearly a week of about 100 degree heat with almost 100% humidity. We're absolutely drenched with sweat every time we walk anywhere (it was actually almost the exact same weather in Chengdu - maybe a few degrees cooler). Tim won't ever just sit in the hotel, so we're always walking somewhere. The underground mall is about 1/2 a block from our hotel, so I suggested going there today. He can walk and it's much cooler there than it is on the streets. I'm just ready to be dry again - although I saw on Yahoo weather that the Beijing forecast is for rain while we're there :-p. I may have enjoyed both Chengdu and Guangzhou a little more in - say - November to March :-).
Just as a side note, the day we left Beijing on our way to Chengdu (July 21st) they got a major rain storm and there was flooding in (I believe) the Fushan District. We just missed it (literally by a few hours). The official death toll was 77, but there is speculation that it was much higher and the gov't is not reporting the true numbers. Please remember the people affected by this tragedy in your prayers.
I'm attaching pictures from right outside our hotel (Hotel Elan) and of the "Tunnel of Guangzhou" aka the entrance to the underground mall.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Shamian Island - Guangzhou
Before I write about Shamian Island (which isn't really an island at all, it's just surrounded by the Pearl River and a moat), I have to tell you about the other shopping we did after the Chen Family Temple. I have never in my life seen anything like it. There was a mall that was AT LEAST 5 stories tall and everywhere you went, there were bead stores. Not the plastic junk, these were strings and strings of semi-precious stones like turquoise and tiger eye. It was an incredible thing to behold (says the girl who collects jewelry as her travel momento of choice).
Now on to Shamian. We, of course, went shopping here too. Shamian is an area in Guangzhou that has western, colonial/victorian style architecture - and up until 2005 the US Consulate was also located here. It is also home of the famous (at least in the Chinese adoption community) White Swan Hotel. We saw Lucy's (an American style food restaurant that is also popular with adoptive families), but we didn't eat there. Instead we ate at a place that was supposed to have Thai food - but it wasn't that spicy in my opinion. Good, but not spicy. I think SongSong is missing the spicy Sichuan food already. Since the Consulate moved and the White Swan is closed for renovation, the shopping at Shamian was not very crowded. The owners were very willing to make deals with you. You could tell that the lack of adoptive families patronizing the shops there was having a big impact on the shopkeepers bottom line.
Unlike Chengdu, there are many people in Guangzhou who speak English - and a lot fewer people stare at the weird white people here. We've pretty much done all of our souvenier shopping in Guangzhou. We found an incredible underground shopping mall near our hotel (Hotel Elan). In Chinese cities, you don't typically cross the street above ground, you use underground tunnels - safer for you and the cars don't have to deal with so many pedestrians. Anyway, we thought we were at one of those underground crossings, but it turned out to be the entrance to a huge underground mall. Clothes as far as you could see in front of you and behind you (I'm SO not kidding about the emincity of this). Mens clothes on one level and womens clothes on the next level. There was also a food court in the basement. Now I've been to Oklahoma City and seen their underground shopping... not even close to what this is. I understand Minneapolis has one too, but I haven't been there to compare. You just have to see this to believe it. Canyons of buildings all around you above ground and more levels of shopping underground - the best part about the underground shopping is that is is actually cool down there :). They will try to tell you that the cost of the clothes are fixed, but if you start to walk away, usually the price will suddenly take a dive. And if it doesn't, there are literally hundreds of shops selling practically the same thing.
Right before we went to Shamian, we went to have SongSong's TB test poke read at the clinic. He got a 9/9. If he had gotten a 10, we would have had to get chest X-rays because that would have been considered a positive for TB. We're so thankful that we didn't have to do that. I knew it was going to be close because where they poked him was very red and still a raised bump. I've had the TB skin test before and knew mine didn't look like his did after a day or so.
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