Been Neglecting the Blog

Again.

So here's the latest.  We're waiting for TA (travel approval).  We got our visas in the mail today. We concluded our final fundraiser (yeah, I know I was supposed to post about that too - obviously THAT didn't happen) last Saturday.  We got a lot of nice things donated for our silent auction and we thank everyone who donated, worked at the event, attended, and bid on the auction items.  We made about $2,000 - which is the best we've done so far for a single fundraising event.  Even though we still lack about half the funding we needed, I'm very happy and relieved to be finished with fundraising. We'll be raiding the retirement account to make up the shortfall, and we're okay with that.  (Still praying that some grant money magically appears though.)

Hope the rest of this post isn't too much of a downer... read at your own peril.  Consider yourself warned.

Now, we wait. For me - it's an impatient wait.  Our agency told us that we MUST leave no later than July 12.  That's 9 days away.  They also told us NOT to book anything yet.  I don't listen so good - especially when I'm feeling not-so-patient and HELPLESS in this situation.  So, I finalized our airfare reservations yesterday and booked our hotel in Chengdu today.  WE'RE LEAVING IN 9 DAYS!!!  I MAY wait until we get TA before I book our hotel in Guangzhou... MAYBE.  We're down to the wire and I'm just not feeling real patient about the waiting at this point. If need be, we'll be in China waiting for the paperwork to catch up with us - I don't care what the agency says.

Those who have been through this - I don't need to explain. Even with our last adoption, I didn't feel this kind of pressure.  If we didn't make it to Colombia for a few more days or weeks, it wasn't the end of the world.  We got there and everything was fine.

THIS time we are on a deadline.  July 27th.  After that, all the fundraising, planning, praying, expended energy, hopes, dreams, expectations - everything - was for naught if we don't make it there in time to get him before his birthday. And the worst part now is that he knows we are supposed to be coming for him.

I hate this feeling. Helplessness.  Hate it.

Sorry about the rant.  I'm usually not a nutjob - really.